I’m telling you, bruh … Don’t trust no internet hoe.” Marcus said has he took a shot at pool.

My friends and I were doing our weekly Mens’ Night at my house.  I had turned one of the two sections of my basement into a man cave for when they came over.  I had a pool table off in the far end of the room, an 80″4K TV with a huge sectional for when we watched games or fights, a full bar against one of the walls, 3 different gaming systems, pics up of the greats of every sport, and anything else a man could think of to have a good time.

“Why does she have to be an “internet hoe” though? What’s ole’ girl’s name again Ty?” Jerome asked.

“Gracie, and she’s not an internet hoe.” I replied to Jerome

“Watch your mouth homie.” I then said with a look to Marcus.

We weren’t official yet, but I was feeling Gracie, so I wasn’t going to let Marc down talk her. Boy or not, he was going to “put some respeck'” on my girl’s name.

“AWW damn!! My dude is sensitive about this one.  How is Gracie NOT an internet hoe?  Where did you meet her again? What does she do again? I’m just saying.” Marcus wasn’t letting this “internet hoe” shit go.

I hadn’t had a chance to tell the rest of my squad much about Gracie, only Marcus yesterday at happy hour at one of our favorite spots. Now I was wishing I hadn’t told him.  His jaded ass …

All eyes were on me, waiting for the story.  I knew Jerome and Karson, who had yet to make a comment in the conversation, were wondering who this new chick was I had been kicking it with. Unlike the Marcus though, neither one of them were single or jaded. To be honest, I’m sure they were just glad I finally met someone who held my attention.  A brutha had been solo for a minute.

With a sigh and a sip of my Crown and Coke, I told the short version of the story. “I met her on MatchMade. We met up at Starbucks, hit it off, and now we are seeing where things go.”

“He left out that lil chocolate delight, is a YouTube sensation.”  Marcus added using his quotation fingers when he said the part about YouTube.

“You’ve seen her?” Karson asked finally adding his two-cents to the conversation.

“Yeah, Ty showed me one of her pics on IG the other day. She badd, I’ll give her that.  She stacked too, like a muthafucka.” Marcus had no chill as he sipped drink.

I let that slide, because he was telling the truth, Gracie was FINE.

“Let us see.” Jerome said as he and Karson made their way over to where I was standing around the pool table. Marcus even had to the nerve to amble over too, wanting another look.

I found her profile on Instagram and showed them.

“Damn …” was all Jerome could say as he scrolled threw a few more of her pictures. Karson shook his head in agreement.  It was like he feared Kima could hear him giving another woman any kind of compliment, so kept his mouth shut. That head nod said it all though.

“All I’m gonna say is she looks good prepared.  What you need to do is take her ass to the beach. Nah, I know they got that waterproof shit now.” Marcus started. I knew this was going to be a crazy idea but, we were all down to listen.

“Nah, this is what you do. Act like you’re doing some romantic shit for her ass.” Marc’s eyes were lit up. He was serious about this plan. “Put some candles all around in your bathroom. Have music playing. The whole nine. Make her ass feel all special and shit so she’ll take her guard down. Then, go turn the shower on. See if she acts nervous.” By now Karson and Jerome had huge smiles on their faces. We all knew where this was going.

“If she hasn’t run out or made an excuse you might be ok, but don’t get comfortable yet, my dude. Tell her you want to wash her body down.  When yall get in there, take a white face-towel and don’t give her ass anytime to react. Scrub the shit out her face!! I bet you any amount of money her eye brows and eye lashes are gonna be on that towel!!” Marcus was a fool.  We all fell over laughing.  He was the only person I knew who could think of something so crazy.

“Ty, you do that shit and you’re liable to get your ass beat in that damn shower man.” Jerome, our other usual voice of reason, when it wasn’t me, added still laughing.

“Or, I could just look at one of her make-up videos Marc.  Trinity is one of her followers and lil sis already put me on game about how Gracie looked without her make-up.  If she didn’t look just as good, I would have backed out and never met her.” I said to put my friend at ease.  He had been “catfished” before so, I could understand his misguided concern.

“Gracie is A-1.  She took me to breakfast the other morning and said she wanted me to see her, and these are her words, “fresh-faced and in the light of day so I know it’s real”. I continued with a smile. Just thinking about her gorgoues self, in that sun-dress with her long natural hair in a big bun on top of her head, had my body heating up.

“Ty, you might need to ask your girl if she has a friend for that nigga.” Karson said with a laugh pointing at Marcus.

“Shit … if I didn’t have D’Siya, I’d be asking if she had a friend for me.” Jerome said taking my phone out of my hand to get another look. “Chicks that fine hang together.”

Jerome and Karson dapped each other.  I was feeling like the man right now. Even without being present, Ms. Anastacia Grace had made my night.

“Hold up … I know this chick.” Karson said taking a closer look at photo I knew they would probably all remember.

 

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